Future Red Sox Giancarlo Stanton Just Hit A Ball That Landed On The Moon

Has landed on the moon: America, Giancarlo Stanton

Hasn’t landed on the moon: everyone else

Projected 510 feet, that’s man shit. I want him on the Red Sox so bad I can taste it. That would’ve cleared the pike. Hey Ben, if you’re reading this, plz call Miami and say “anyone but Owens, just tell me who you want and they’ll be on the next flight out.”